My Fault

Greetings

The days i faced without you now is different.

Way too different.

It's empty, you know.

Going to bed, forcing my head to stop thinking about you, results in me sleeping with pain.

Woke up in the morning reaching my phone even before my eyes was clearly opened, only to see if you're texting me, resulting only disappointments. 

Mentioning your name in my prayers always lead to tears.

Guessing about what you do now, kills me inside.

Wondering about who were you with, who did you texted, what did you guys talk about, kills me even deeper and violent.

More than always, i watched your presence in the social media, and these fingers went frozen.

My heart screamed but never makes any sound.

My head went heavy but never stops from thinking.

I really wanted to stop, getting over with all of this.

Really.

* * *

My fault?

Yes, i admit.

I put too much efforts.

To an extend where i just don't know anymore what to do.

I just don't know anymore.

Berusaha malah buat aku rasa berdosa.

Dan aku meronta dari dalam.

Tubuh kembali meringkuk di perbaringan apabila hari hampir selesai.

Dan perkara sama terjadi keesokannya.

Berkitar dan berkitar.

My fault...

now i know,

it's because i try so hard, too hard.